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Husband Wife Jokes, Romantic, Latest, Funny Jokes in English

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Husband Wife Jokes in English

A couple planned to commit suicide together
But once the wife killed herself,
he changed his mind as things suddenly looked more positive... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
A man in Hell asked Devil
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay
Devil - Nothing, Hell to hell is Free... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
Call from a bank
Hello Mrs Sharma Mam, We r offering u credit card with best deals!
1. No annual charges
2. No interest on balance for three months
3. Big credit limit
4. No penalties for over spending. Smart reply by the lady
No thanks, I have a husband
1. With lifetime zero fee
2. No spending limit
3. No penalties and most importantly
4. No repayment forever
Line cut without a word!... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
Doctor - sorry
reports got mixed up, We do not know if your wife has AIDS or Asthma! Husband - What should i do now? Doctor - Send her 4 jogging, if she returns, do not sleep with her... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
Husband texts to wife on cell
Hi, what are you doing Darling ?
Wife - I am dying
Husband jumps with joy but
types Sweet Heart, how can I live without You?
Wife - You idiot! I am dying my hair
Husband - Bloody English Language!... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
If you want to be Happy with your husband
Love him Less and Understand more!
If you want to be Happy with your wife
Love her More and never try to Understand !... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
2 Married Men Talking - 10yrs Ago
Whenever I Returned Home
My Dog Used To Greet Me By Barking and My Wife By Kissing
Now They Both Exactly Do The Opposite... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
A man going in the car with his wife
He writes on the rear glass
DO NOT DISTURB
ALL READY VERY DISTURBED... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
An Intelligent Wife
Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
Doctor - How is your headache ?
Patient - she’s out of town... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
Husband - I found Aladin's lamp today
Wife - wow, what did you ask for darling ??
Husband - I asked him to increase your brain ten times
Wife - oh..darling..love you so much, Did he do that ??
Husband - He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
half the divorces won't take place
On the other hand
If women behave before marriage the way they do after it, half the marriages won't take place... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
The great mathematician, Aryabhatta, once asked his wife
Will you let me go out alone & enjoy with my friends over every weekend, every month?
Wife: What is the Probability of me saying yes as per your calculation ?
That’s when Aryabhatta discovered Zero!... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
A Lady to Doctor
My husband has d habit of talking in sleep!
What should i give him to cure?
Doctor - Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awake... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜
An after thought on Karwa chauth - Cutting down your food will not give your husbands a longer life
But if you can cut down your spending it surely will!... πŸ˜‚ο»Ώ 😜

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