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Very Funny Jokes in English

Son - Dad My Stomach Is Paining.
Father - that's Because your stomach is empty.
Son - Oh! Now I understand why you always have headache ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Teacher - What is the fullform of maths.
Student - Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students. ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
I am Looking for a Bank
which can perform Two things for me.
Give me a Loan,
then Leave me Alone... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
A man sees a fat man
sitting in a train cabin.
Taunting, he asks -
Is this cabin for elephants only!
Fat man humbly replies -
No! Even monkeys like you can sit!... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Employer - In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant - I'm the one you want.
On my last job, every time anything went wrong,
they said I was responsible.... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Tourist - Whose skeleton is that?
Daniel - An old king's skeleton.
Tourist - Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Daniel - That was same king's skeleton when he was a child... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Daniel wanted to make a STD call to New York,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to New York and made a local call... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Daniel and David were fighting after exam.
Sir - Y r u fighting?
Daniel - This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir - So what?
Daniel - Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Daniel - Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
David - It's a girl. She's my daughter.
Daniel - Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
David - I'm not. I'm her mother... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Smartest thing Daniel ever did,
He changed all his passwords to 'Incorrect'so whenever he forgets,the computer will remind him,
Your password is 'Incorrect'... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Daniel - Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
David - Yes, of course.
Daniel - Great! I never could before!... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Daniel was painting his room.
After painting roof,
he wrote on walls SAME AS ABOVE... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other - Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?
The other one says - No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!
Man - How can you tell if a man is happy?... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
Daniel started a college,
All students were confused admission coz
Name of d college is 'Daniel's Medical college of Engineering for commerce n arts... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ
David - Meet my new born brother.
Daniel - Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?
David - I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.... ๐Ÿ˜‚๏ปฟ ๐Ÿ˜œ

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